What can ya do.

Nothing. That is right. You cant force the universe to go your way, or force yourself to love everything you try.

I had a job call me, but because I don't LIVE in LA, and cant just drop school right now and start for them, I wasn't able to get the job.  It really stinks being shot down for something you cant really control.  I cant just up and move to LA and hope that maybe something could come up.  That's not how it works.  I cant leave Utah, and schooling for something that is unsure.  That could possibly leave me in the dirt with nothing.  I am scared.  I am lost.  I am NOT alone.  I have God, I have my family, I have my friends, and everyone else around me that loves me and supports me no matter what my life choices are.  They let me choose, they let me be myself.  There is NOTHING more that I could ask for.. (except maybe to design a dress for Cher).  I am kind of discouraged and scared that I am doing something stupid when I have a good thing going here.  I don't want to screw up my life and future and everything I have worked for.  I do not want to fail.

I DO NOT WANT TO FAIL.